A Wager!

This is pure torture! What have I done? Realising that I've been wanking too much, I've made a wager with Callixta. Because I'm getting addicted to wanking, I better exercise some control over myself.

Here's the bet:
3 days abstaining from any wanking. From Monday til Wednesday mid-night.
If I fail the wager, I'll have to treat her to a movie.

So the idea was to control my lust with this bet. However somehow the bet included the clause that: If I win the wager, I'll GET HER TO WANK WITH ME! Hmm... somehow it seems to defeat the purpose of trying to be less lustful. In fact, all it seems to do it to transfer my ASEXUAL lifestyle to a SEXUAL one. Well, at least I spend less time wanking these days.

But it's been pure torture! It's tuesday and I'm dying of deprivation. Been in "cold turkey" mode the whole day. All my thoughts are about sex, sex and more sex!

I don't know if i should talk to Cheryl about such demons I have. Should I? Or later? Sooner or later she'll will have to know. I have a feeling she's not the horny type that Callixta is. Sigh... I'm quite determined not to have any physical intimacy with Cheryl because it'll cloud how I feel about her. But then again, to totally deny myself of my desires and needs. Am I repressing my needs too much? Is that healthy in a relationship then? Maybe I'm thinking too much. This coming sunday, I'll ask Cheryl what does she think about sex. Just a general question to kick things off.

One thing I'm worried about being with Cheryl is that although she's the gal of my dreams, but it seems that unless we are talking about our relationship or about success in life, we don't seem to have much else to talk about. I'm a bit worried about that. Are we truly compatible? Hmm... Another thing to talk to her about...