New week, New me

It's sunday again... The day when I make my resolutions, feel guilty about my past unexecuted resolutions and wonder whether this is the life I want.

I've a good number of resolutions to make(I almost wrote pass instead of make, too much auditing). But if there's one thing I have learnt from my past, it is to not be too ambitious. So for now, it is ... Be Less Bored.

Be Less Bored was inspired by a friend of mine (Miss Chewy) nicely encompasses what is wrong with my life. Being born into a well to do family, gifted with un-ugly looks and endowed with a reasonably quick (reasonably quick is defined as quick enough to understand something if it was explained to be 6 times) I never had to work for anything too hard. Everything was and is provided for me. Hence I didn't have to try too hard to get what I wanted other than entertainment.

Hmmm... I think I have diverged from my main point.

Let's start all over again. My new resolution for this week is...

No sex.

Sex being defined as oral sex, any form of sexual entertainment that requires more than 3 strokes and plain sex.

That's my motto for this week. I hope I can keep to it =)

It's good to be back :)

Why guys should not wank

Why is wanking bad for you

Recently I've been talking to this girl from the IRC who's 26. Let's call her Y. Well, she's really funny and great to talk. Never a moment of dullness when I'm yaking on the phone with her. Though I must admit she does most of the talking. Anyway when she asked me what do I do most of the time in life I gave the standard
but honest answers."I play computer games, breakdance, read and wank off"(not in
order of ascending priority or proportion of time spent. Though it might be in descending order)

Then she told me that I shouldn't wank off so much because its bad for me. And in my opinion I suppose that's true because by wanking off too much it makes a person
addicted to getting their weekly/daily/hourly(circle accordingly) dose of an orgasm and perpetually horny if they don't get it. However that's just my opinion and last night I got curious if she thought the sane way as me and asked her why does she think wanking off too much is bad for me? And her answer was very interesting and surprisingly alot more convincing than any other reason (e.g. Bible says it wrong in page so and so, its loser-ish, it seems wrong) for not wanking I've ever heard before.

"Guys should not wank off too much because they will get too used to the speed and
rhythm of their hand and as a result when they have a fuck, they will not be able to cum unless they are fucking at that speed and rhythm which is just too fast for their partner(and for them to keep up!) to enjoy and it makes her feel like a piece of meat"

Pretty interesting right? I've never thought of it that way before. She makes alot of sense. And from henceforth, I shall endeavor not to wank off so much! Not because I do not want to risk succumbing to the addiction of wanking off or because some phrase in the bible says so or because the Catholic church frowns upon it but because I want to be a good fuck.

Je n'aime pas le travail: I do not like work

Finally I've moved my lazy fat ass and started to blog again. I've been meaning to conclude that Cherry entry for some time now. Having Prabs bug me about it and seeing Adrian's blog inspired me to finally start writing. Adrian's blog( www.decentdemon.blogspot.com ) is extremely funny by the way!

Back to Cherry. Well, at first I was really interested in her! I mean, how often do I get a pretty gal with a hot figure all over me? Coming over to my work station during discreet occasions to have a chat and asking me down to the 5th floor(a deserted place where the smokers hang out) to chill with her while she puffed away. And so I thought to myself, AlThOuGh ShE SmS-Es LiKe ThIs AnD LoOks
LiKe An LiAn aNd SoUnDs LiKe OnE wEiRd GaL I DoN't MiNd ChAsInG AfTeR HeR. Perhaps I
was being too harsh, I told myself. After all, she can't help it when she sms-es things like "So NoW YoU GoT tHe HiNt, YoU mUsT tAke AcTiOn HOR HOR" (OMFG, she sounds like a farking horse, HOR HOR who uses a double Hor? Maybe she meant whore whore )

So I went along with her flirting. She would go "So SlEePy, WiSh I gOt a ShOuLdeR tO rEsT mY hEaD On" I wanted to reply "HoW aBoUt SoMe HeAd tHen WHORE? WHORE!!!" But instead i resisted my urge to mock her and reply sweet messages with proper captions like "aww... poor thing, my shoulder's avaliable if you like =D" Those days we'll sms back and forth but she would always be very evasive whenever I asked if she has a boyfriend or when was the last time she was in a relationship. Instead
she only seemed interested in hinting me to do stuff for her like "HaVeN HaD bReAkFaSt LeH, nO One bUy Me. SoB sOb" or "WhY u AsK WhErE I sTaY NeH? WaN tO FeTcH mE tO wOrK iS It?"

Anyway after some days, it soon became apparent she was just flirting around and toying with no intention to pusue anything serious beyond giving me a hard time.(no pun intended, she doesn't even say horny stuff. Just hints on doing stuff for her) Fortunately, besides being a fool by getting breakfast for her once, I've resisted her hints to do anything else.

I remember once she asked me out for lunch and she was telling me:
"do you know why I always go home immediately after work before I go out?"
I replied "so that u can go and shower and change?"
"yes... but there's another reason..." she went in a sly shy way

At that time the only reason I could think of (and relate to) was so that she could

"Lock the door,
Rub her knob,
Squeeze her tits and
Scream in fits"

So I told her "no, I can't think of anything else" Then she
pondered for a while and replied "so that someone will drive and bring me out. I've not taken public transport for .... 2-3 years liao" I just kept quiet and

(-_-)'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Later my friend called me and I yanked on the phone the whole time we were having lunch. That incident and many others confirmed my suspicions that she's just out to take whatever advantage she can. Subsequent enquires with her and confirmations with fellow NTU interns revealed that she had over 30 ex bfs and has already
a boyfriend during that time she was flirting with me, lies like a snake and that no body wants to be in the same project group as her in school because she's never there at meetings and that she goes clubbing every week. Interestinly, it also turns out that she's got very good grades despite her hectic clubbing lifestyle(she told me that she used to go clubbing at Rush everynight and boasts that she gets free entrance and drinks because she knows everyone there)

And hence that's the end of the Cherry Saga. A short lived but good lesson in life that there some girls in singapore who are just so farking selfish and inconsiderate who use men like toilet paper.

And from that day I realised that I swore that I'll never be a nice guy to girls unless I can see the benefit in it.

Actually, its not really this incident that made me so bitter about girls but rather it is a cumulation of several incidents.

Was talking to this law chick(student doing law) yesterday on MSN. Interesting conversation, apparently one of the reasons she went on exchange is to be "wild" However she just couldn't get herself to be a slut. She's too shy. Damn...

She's pretty good looking, rich and out-going(lovely conversationist). Wish I chased after her instead of Beng Lee. But that's another
story for another blog entry.

In the midst of self discovery: I discovered I don't want to do tax

Once again, this is another blog entry about girls. Girls in my life. Its interesting that the only thing that I write about here is about girls. I should try to change that.

Today the weather was hot. (End of Blog Post)

Hahah, anyway the primary reason I'm finally updating my blog is because Glynnis and a few others have been asking me about it and I've always felt uncomfortable about letting them see my blog. Not because of the embarassing or shaming stuff in it(I've developed thicker skin now) But because the quality of what I write just isn't good for me to show it to them. From my perspective anyway.

Alright, so let's get down to the latest incident in life. It was another boring day at the tax department. Oh, I've started on my internship several months ago. It's the 8-9th week of it now. I can't remember. Time flows like honey there, it moves so slowly that I've lost track of which week of my internship I am doing. Back to the topic.

I was dozing off at my desk as usual beside Jean(my supervisor) while trying to look like I was in deep thought with tax computations, frowning and wrinkling my brows every time her head turns towards my direction. After some time, I decided to get up and go wash my face before I get asked by Jean to do it. I walked out and headed towards the toilet.

As I was walking towards the toilet at the lift lobby I saw a fellow intern from Audit group B. She was Cherry.(oh my goodness, another one back to haunt me) Seeing her, my buaya instincts kicked in just like Spiderman's spider sense I went to talk to her. Surprisingly she wanted to chat too.(Most of the interns seem to think their appraisal would be affected if they were caught wasting time and would rather sit and stare aimlessly at a screen than to interact with another human being) And we were chatting, as we begin the conversation, she started off with something like

"Hey have you watched Mr & Mrs Smith? I really want to watch it"

And at that moment I was wondering if she was baiting me to ask her out. However I resisted the juicy worm infront of me and didn't ask her out. Then we chatted somemore and later she suggested going for lunch together with the rest of the NTU interns. That didn't seem so dangerous so I agreed to join them for lunch.

We didn't really talk over lunch and once I got back to my desk I was congratulating myself over FINALLY resisting the urge to ask every attractive gal i meet out. When suddenly, she snuck up behind me while I was back at my desk and poked me. And from there we started chatting again and decided to go to the 5th floor where we would have some privacy and where she could smoke.

After she had a smoke, I took her cigarette butt in my hands and pressed it right into my palm, crushing the flame out, showing her how macho am I to take the pain. From there she went "ooo... you're so macho" and we started making out and ended up having sex. That was last year and Now I'm a proud father of one for my misadventure.

Re: Relationships and other topics that captured my attention

Decided to change the format of my blog from a dark gloomy one to a more refreshing one. Psychologically, this change reflects the change in my dark brooding mood to a more upbeat fresh outlook on life.

Yesterday in the underpass at esplanade, my friend took a picture of me doing a seven.(You can see the photos below this entry) Thought it was a pretty good pose til I compared it with a similar picture someone else took of me a year back. I look pretty much the same in both of the pictures except for one change. I've put on weight! Its not very obvious til you notice the region around the tummy. In the picture of me doing the tombstone you can see that I had some definition around my tummy, and in the recent one you'll not see any definition! Friend of mine suggested doing 200 crunches and leg raises a day.

Hmm...Nah... Don't think I'll do that.

Was talking to Lynnette(The girl I met on the train, wonder if she'll mind me posting her photo in my blog) on MSN yesterday and she told me to "move my blog" Was rather pleasantly surprised to hear that because that would mean she bothers checking it out once in a while. She'll probably be the first person ever to bother checking out my blog! I'm flattered. I would never think that anyone would be interested in reading my blog, 1) because this blog mostly was used as a place to air my dirty linen and to express my infatuations. With that objective in mind, its hardly audience friendly 2) Secondly, I don't consider whatever I write witty, deep or humourous entries. Trying not to make spelling mistakes is my priority whenever I write a post! Hence, how interesting can my entries get?

How do I feel about Lynnette now? Well, I really do like talking to her and yes I still do find her attractive. But she's in a relationship with someone else now. Sigh... anyway, even if she were single I doubt I'll get anywhere with her. I'm a total klutz when it comes to relationships. Totally inexperienced and inept in such stuff. Hahah, I'm just whinning. Shalln't give it anymore thought for today.

The next topic in my mind is what we'll all been waiting for!(or at least what I've been waiting for to write about) Relationships!!! Yes, the topic of relationships in all its sordid glory! Like I mentioned was talking to Larry, Zhiyang and Belinda about how many relationships they've been through. And oh boy was I surprised! Asked one of them how many relationships have he/she been through and the reply was "serious or non-serious"? Hahah, scandalous!

Oh boy, one answered 3(if I remember correctly) But if he/she included non-serious ones, add another 5 to that number. The other person was deep in thought for a while and after a while said 4 serious ones. And after another 5 minutes abruptly blurted out 24 non-serious ones(around that number)! And he/she thought about it and added one more, remembering that, that girl that he forgot was the super horny girl that doesn't talk much. Shessh... Oh man! I never knew I had such scandalous pals! He/she went on later to talk about how he/she feels that he/she is being used by boys/girls as a sex toy. That the boys/girls(notice the plural) call him/her a Sex God/Goddess. I remember asking him/her then if he/she feels that he/she is being used as a sex toy why does he/she do it? Then the reply was "because sometimes in the mnd of the night, I feel horny" Me too... Me too... Heheh

Another of them asked us, "What would you do if you like this girl and she likes you back?"

And we replied
"But she's a man?"
"But you're a woman?"
"She likes women?"
"She's got cancer?"
"You got AIDS?"
"You have a small dick?"

"But she's attached?"

Correct!

"Then why don't you have a fling with her?"

Yah, I am already...

Shesh man, the skeletons in my friends closet are numerous enough for a Lim Chu Kang graveyard! Somehow I don't feel so bad now about the "Bastard" entry in my blog.

A picture of me taken yesterday. Compare it with last year's one and you'll realise my abs are gone!!! 

A picture of me doing a tombstone a year ago 

The return to blogging

Been away from blogging for a long time. I guess alot happened since then. Stopped dating Cheryl Loh after she told me that she has absolutely no interest having in a relationship. I'm glad she's honest with me and truthfully I'm glad this is all out in the open between the both of us, we don't click at all. Communication between us was rather strained. In a way, I felt relieved that nothing happened between us. Spending time trying out a relationship that wouldn't work in the end, would be akin to flogging a dead horse in a race. I'll rather run alone.

This semester's results aren't too good this time round. 2 A-s and 2 B+s. That would mean I'll need a 2As and 3A-s to make it for the Dean's list this academic year. I don't see much difficulty in achieving that. Singlehood has its advantages. Namely 1) my Grade Point Average 2) a cheaper phone bill and 3) More free time at night. However if I could choose to share my life with someone else in the world from all the people I know, I'm quite sure I would choose the girl I met on the train in transit. Hahah, she's a fantastic person. I wish I had more friends like her.

Was on the train heading towards Raffles Place and I was just standing in the middle of the train. Around me were a group of guys talking about a computer game called DOTA(Defense Of the Ancients, a game which I'm guilty of playing every night too) and this girl reading her book with her back faced towards me. At that point in time, I had no one in my life to send a text to and there were no pretty Ah Lians(girls with a bad sense of Fashion in Singapore) to ogle at. All in all, I felt really bored in the train, after looking around I saw this girl reading a book with her back faced towards me. So since she placed her book so convienantly towards my eyes I started reading her book over her shoulder. People never cease to fascinate me! There is a story behind everyone in the world and I'm always fascinated by their lives. So I thought I'll just read over her shoulder and perhaps catch a glimpse of her life through what she read. Initially I thought it would be some trashy romance novel about blond, sexy, witty, altruistic, romantic intelligent causasian men with 6 packs and a castle in England wooing a beautiful but not the most beautiful woman who's confused. Didn't expect to see a girl reading a book titled Quantum Evolution. Interesting stuff! It attempts to explain the evolution of life through quantum physics. Was rather absorbed in the book. Usually I would not find stuff like this interesting, but perhaps it was the thrill of reading a book(I wasn't looking at her cleavage!If that's what you are thinking... her blouse didn't allow for that) over someone's shoulder, or maybe its because I've been yearning to be a more intellectual person, and I would not rule out that probably its because she rather pretty and somehow the things that attractive people read become attractive and interesting to me too.

As the train went on towards Raffles Place, I was thinking to myself, she obviously knows that I'm reading over her shoulder yet she does not shun me and instead she shifts towards my direction after putting the book away. Therefore, she must be interested in knowing the guy who reads over her shoulder!!!(excellant deduction Holmes!) Muhahahah, so I gathered my guts, silenced the butterflies in my tummy and took the plunge by asking her about the book. And when I asked about the book, she went all super enthusiastic about it, handed me the book and took my number down!!! Yay! I was thinking, further proof that she's interested in me. So that was a pretty happy day for me and I was telling my friends over MSN about what great day it was for me to meet such an attractive and intellectual girl(turns out she loves philosophy and all that arts stuff too) who's attracted to me too.

Until I found out over MSN 1)that she REALLY loves the book! 2)And that she didn't even notice that I was reading over her shoulder. (Results of 1+2 to 3)That she lent me the book because she thinks that the book is really good and is so altrusitic that she's willing to lend it to a stranger to share her joy. Hahahah, well done charles. Well done! Funny how much different my perception of reality differs from reality. Well its a bit of a disappointment I must admit, especially after finding out that she's attached. However, it was a rare pleasure talking to her over MSN for 3 hours. She's an extremely easy person to talk to who has great empathy for others. I don't think I've ever met anyone as interesting to talk to as her. I could just talk to her about anything! She's just fantastic.... a chimerical conversationalist! Outta this world.

That's why if I could choose someone in the world to be with, I would choose her! Hahahah, oh well... too bad she's taken by this Malaysian guy.(bloody malaysians crossing over our borders to take away our women. Grrrr....) hahahahah, one day I'll sneak into Malaysia and sneak into the Kampong and steal their women too!(with a few chickens and coconuts to!) Bloody Malaysians! Grrr...

Was talking to Larry and Zhiyang today and they told me something rather interesting. Will talk about it in the next entry! DOTA beckons!!!

Bastard!

Been a while since I've written anything...

I'm a real bastard! Recently, I got to know this girl through friendster and started to talk to her on the phone. Somehow, I started telling her how much I loved her and she started believing in me... That was great until we met on friday and oh my god... She's really HUGE! She warned me that she's a 100 kg and... well I kind of thought she was joking. So when I saw her I was just shocked. But I've already committed myself to it. Was it pity, stupidity or sick perverse when I started to hold her hand and kiss her? Oh my evilnes... What the hell was I thinking? I must really be sick! At that time, I guess all I wanted was for her to be happy.

I mean, I just wanted to give this really fat girl a break in her life. Make her feel wanted and all that. And although I was really cringing inside I ended out making out with her. Hey, it's not that bad when she was grabbing my dick. Somehow the disgust was disguised to lust. Ughh... I feel so sick man! That's really one of the chapters I want to close in my life! I admit it, I'm superficial!!! I want to be with girls that are attractive. So after that incident, I totally stopped contacting her and after a while she spent me an e-mail asking me what happened and I told her that some rubbish that made no sense even to me. She replied with an e-mail that blasted me with what a jerk I am in a rather nice way. That's the end of that chapter in my life I hope! I keep thinking what would happen if one day I'm in the hospital and she's the nurse on duty?(she training to be a nurse you see) Would she spit in my food, ignore my calls for help or make my stay horrible? I'm going to stay away from hospitals for at least 5 years. Hopefully by then she'll forget me! I'm such a bastard. I have no idea what I should do now to make amends... Plus my fingers stunk for a few days after that incident. I don't think I want to put them in a girl's pussy anymore. Yucks... I think I'll make a horrible lover!

On other girl matters, I seem to be drifting further and further away from Cheryl. Oh well... I guess we are not meant to be. Whenever I tell her how I feel about stuff she always gives me some shitty zen wisdom shit. Like when I go on about how I'm getting stressed out in school then she'll tell me to enjoy my school days because working life sucks. Look, even if that's true, I don't give a damn. I'm looking for sympathy not your "higher than thou" wisdom shit. Or when I'm bitching about my increased weight she'll go "eat less, diet more". Ya ya... I feel that I'm talking to a very cold person when I'm trying to talk to her about myself. More often she feels emotional and warm to me is when she is telling me about her self. Feel that this is so one sided. Reflecting on this, I really don't think we can communicate well at all. She's just too serious for me. We just don't click. Perhaps I've a more childish and playful nature. I like to make crude jokes, laugh at people and enjoy dirty jokes. She's the type that hangs out with her goody goody ex-secondary school teachers from a convent school, laugh at nice jokes and enjoy the company of all her good looking witty gay friends. I should move on in life... She's definitely moving on, she's been going out with friend after friend for dinners.(probably other guy friends) I'm sick of asking her out, waiting for her time table to be clear so she can go out, her being so un-understanding about me being in school, I too have my stress in school although it may be less compared to her work but HEY! She gets paid in good money with I get a pathetic allowance!

One in a while she messages me to ask me how's my day. What does she want from me?!? Does she want another friendship like the kind she has with my brother where they ask one another out once in a year? What's the point of that? GRrr... I'm moving on...

Maybe Beng Lee is free next week... Recently asked her if she's agreeable to a fling with me and she said she "really wouldn't mind". Well, not sure if I want to do anything physical with her but at least I've got some female companionship. Kenny, Kevin and the other guys are right. I'm such a buaya.

Do wish that there's a girl I could just settle down with. Currently my ideal of an ideal girl is Huiwen. Too bad she's attached! She's such a nice person. Well... Who knows, maybe some one else might drop into my life. Someone I could joke with without feeling uncomfortable and unnatural.